1/10/08
Today is day ten. It is really easy to remember how old your baby is if she was born on December 31st. She woke up a few times during the night but was comforted by the baby-steak or what many of us call breast milk. Right now she is sleeping in her bouncer and I am pretending to participate in the process of raising her by looking over at her every once in a while. I still get freaked out by the positions she contorts her neck into. The other day I could not find her face – she fell asleep with a hat on but then turned her head so that the hat was covering her face. I hope she will wake up before the neck starts to hurt.
It is amazing how many facial expressions she can go through in 1 minute of sleeping. Do babies dream? And if they dream what do they dream about? I am pretty sure there is quite a cast of characters. I wonder if she talks to the feeding booby in her dreams. “What is the special of the day?” Today we have milk, served at body temperature, in a plastic nipple shield. The milk has a hint of barbeque sauce, from last night’s pizza, and is particularly good on the right side.” “Wonderful, I think I could enjoy that for a while, but then I would like to have my diaper changed. And for the desert I would like the same thing but from the other side. Shaken, not stirred.”
Carlos Castaneda says that babies exist in more then just one awareness at the same time and so there is no telling how many people and other creatures they actually see at the same time. So that when I think she is smiling because I just kissed her tummy it could actually be a response to a fire dragon letting her play with its tail.
Later in the day we gave her a bath. It is really surprising that she does not mind being wet, shampooed, wet again, dried in a baby towel, and then, on top of that, taken pictures of. I have to say it made me pretty excited to participate in the bathing procedure – my wife and I managed to share the work pretty well and were done in just a few minutes.
10:21pm
Today I put my baby to sleep. And I don’t mean I put her in her pajamas, read her and book and kissed her good night. I mean I magically transformed a ten day old, fussy newborn, all the way from screaming bloody murder to, well, asleep. It felt like being the dude in charge. It felt great. Maybe for the first time I felt like I was actually useful. She has been fussy lately and would only fall asleep at her mom’s breast, which, if you have a drop of empathy, you would realize is very taxing. So today I saved Christmas.
Ok, let me take you through the steps, since I am sure you are all wondering how can an adequate, overgrown, good-for-nothing, professor do something so ordinary. Well, hush now and let me explain. We have been given a DVD called “The happiest baby on the block” which talks about the concept of the forth trimester – since humans have such big brains they are born before they are sufficiently developed but they have a calming reflex and you just need to learn to turn it on. Well, today I finally turned that sucker on. So the steps are described in five “S”s: Swaddle, Side, Shush, Swing, and Suck. So first I swaddled her (tightly wrapping in a blanket) – I have to say I am getting much better at it. Then I put her on her side. The magic touch was of course contributed by my wife (you did not really think I did it alone, did you?) – we have a toy that can make four types of white noise sound and the sound de jour was ocean waves. But it was not until I found that correct jiggle, which I thought could have been too aggressive, that she actually stopped crying and started looking around completely calm. I mean wide eyes, lips extended, look of a child interested in her environment, and, most importantly, quiet. And so I jiggled her for a few minutes and then put her in our swing and a few minutes later she was asleep.
I guess at this point I could have turned of the light and gone to sleep myself, but I was too excited to do that and so I came downstairs to put this account of acts of personal heroism “on paper” so to speak. Who knows what future might bring? Next stop – I cure cancer, or maybe, just maybe, do the dishes all on my own.
Today is day ten. It is really easy to remember how old your baby is if she was born on December 31st. She woke up a few times during the night but was comforted by the baby-steak or what many of us call breast milk. Right now she is sleeping in her bouncer and I am pretending to participate in the process of raising her by looking over at her every once in a while. I still get freaked out by the positions she contorts her neck into. The other day I could not find her face – she fell asleep with a hat on but then turned her head so that the hat was covering her face. I hope she will wake up before the neck starts to hurt.
It is amazing how many facial expressions she can go through in 1 minute of sleeping. Do babies dream? And if they dream what do they dream about? I am pretty sure there is quite a cast of characters. I wonder if she talks to the feeding booby in her dreams. “What is the special of the day?” Today we have milk, served at body temperature, in a plastic nipple shield. The milk has a hint of barbeque sauce, from last night’s pizza, and is particularly good on the right side.” “Wonderful, I think I could enjoy that for a while, but then I would like to have my diaper changed. And for the desert I would like the same thing but from the other side. Shaken, not stirred.”
Carlos Castaneda says that babies exist in more then just one awareness at the same time and so there is no telling how many people and other creatures they actually see at the same time. So that when I think she is smiling because I just kissed her tummy it could actually be a response to a fire dragon letting her play with its tail.
Later in the day we gave her a bath. It is really surprising that she does not mind being wet, shampooed, wet again, dried in a baby towel, and then, on top of that, taken pictures of. I have to say it made me pretty excited to participate in the bathing procedure – my wife and I managed to share the work pretty well and were done in just a few minutes.
10:21pm
Today I put my baby to sleep. And I don’t mean I put her in her pajamas, read her and book and kissed her good night. I mean I magically transformed a ten day old, fussy newborn, all the way from screaming bloody murder to, well, asleep. It felt like being the dude in charge. It felt great. Maybe for the first time I felt like I was actually useful. She has been fussy lately and would only fall asleep at her mom’s breast, which, if you have a drop of empathy, you would realize is very taxing. So today I saved Christmas.
Ok, let me take you through the steps, since I am sure you are all wondering how can an adequate, overgrown, good-for-nothing, professor do something so ordinary. Well, hush now and let me explain. We have been given a DVD called “The happiest baby on the block” which talks about the concept of the forth trimester – since humans have such big brains they are born before they are sufficiently developed but they have a calming reflex and you just need to learn to turn it on. Well, today I finally turned that sucker on. So the steps are described in five “S”s: Swaddle, Side, Shush, Swing, and Suck. So first I swaddled her (tightly wrapping in a blanket) – I have to say I am getting much better at it. Then I put her on her side. The magic touch was of course contributed by my wife (you did not really think I did it alone, did you?) – we have a toy that can make four types of white noise sound and the sound de jour was ocean waves. But it was not until I found that correct jiggle, which I thought could have been too aggressive, that she actually stopped crying and started looking around completely calm. I mean wide eyes, lips extended, look of a child interested in her environment, and, most importantly, quiet. And so I jiggled her for a few minutes and then put her in our swing and a few minutes later she was asleep.
I guess at this point I could have turned of the light and gone to sleep myself, but I was too excited to do that and so I came downstairs to put this account of acts of personal heroism “on paper” so to speak. Who knows what future might bring? Next stop – I cure cancer, or maybe, just maybe, do the dishes all on my own.
1/11/08
I have finally found my soul mate. Well, I am not an expert in it and maybe technically your soul mate is not the one who resembles you most in any particular trait, but soul mate is how I felt when we met the lactation consultant last night. Never before have I heard a person express so eloquently how I feel about my wife’s breasts.
Ok, some introduction is in order. In the previous installment I was boasting about how I learned to put my daughter to sleep. Well, she turned out to be a particular kind of a one trick pony – the kind of a pony that only lets you trick her once. And so about the same time I was done writing the last piece she started screaming and continued to be fussy until 4am. So we decided to go and ask for some help. We made an appointment with a lactation consultant. The main questions we had were whether we should continue using the nipple shield given to us in the hospital, and whether there is something we are doing wrong that keeps our baby unhappy. Well, Jamie (the consultant) was absolutely great! First she showered my wife in a barrage of complements about her breasts and nipples in particular. My two personal favorites were “your breasts rock” and “you have gorgeous nipples.” At one point I was so elated that I had to respond to one of those remarks by saying “I’ve been tell her that for years.” Now, you might think that all those remarks are good to hear but serve no purpose – you’d be wrong. The thing is that if your (first) baby is not having a good time you automatically assume that there is something wrong with you or that you are not doing something correctly. And hearing all those positive things definitely gives you a second wind and a stronger desire to persevere.
Then, Jamie said that she sees absolutely no reason for us to use the nipple shield – there are certain conditions when it is warranted, e.g. flat or inverted nipples, but nipples as gorgeous as my wife’s need no plastic. And so she showed us some tricks about how to hold her to the breast, and how to burp her better (it is surprising how much slapping those tiny babies can endure and even feel comfortable with), and even how to use baby’s hand position and a gage of how full her “tank” is – up means empty, down means full.
So lessons learned – if the baby is not doing great ask for help. Even if you have seen two lactation consultants already and one of them recommended the shield. Thing change, and help is available, and who knows, maybe your breasts rock after all.
1/13/08
So it looks like we are developing a relationship with my daughter. And I say “developing” because like her our relationship is a living matter that changes every day. In the beginning it consisted of me holding her and her crying. Note, it was not that she would cry and then I would hold her. No, it was her crying whenever I held her, even if she was peachy beforehand. It was a rough start, but I followed the suggestions of my support group, consisting of my wife, her parents, pediatricians, and police officers I called to settle the matter. And so I persevered.
To quote some more of Carlos Castaneda quoting Don Juan Matus, who said that there are four natural enemies to becoming the “Man of Knowledge,” and those are Fear, Clarity, Power, and Old Age. I think those are applicable to becoming a parent. It started with fear, and maybe it is smell of my fear that made my baby cry. A few days ago I had a hint of “Clarity” when I was boasting that I managed to put her to sleep. Power has yet to kick in, but we are working on it.
And so back to the relationship we are developing. Since my wife wakes up during the night to wake her I get the early morning (10 to noon) shift, after a hearty feeding, when we think there is no reason for the baby to cry. And so I bring her downstairs, put some music on (I think she prefers Townes Van Zandt to Tom Waits) and we just chill together – I am on the couch and she is on her bouncer.
I have to say that our interactions with her have changed drastically since we have consulted with Jamie, the lactation consultant. Our girl started to eat better and is less fussy, and we really feel like we understand what she is going through a little better. I am so glad we went to see Jamie. Just to think about all the other things we have considered doing, like switching to a bottle, or even formula. No need for that!
I have finally found my soul mate. Well, I am not an expert in it and maybe technically your soul mate is not the one who resembles you most in any particular trait, but soul mate is how I felt when we met the lactation consultant last night. Never before have I heard a person express so eloquently how I feel about my wife’s breasts.
Ok, some introduction is in order. In the previous installment I was boasting about how I learned to put my daughter to sleep. Well, she turned out to be a particular kind of a one trick pony – the kind of a pony that only lets you trick her once. And so about the same time I was done writing the last piece she started screaming and continued to be fussy until 4am. So we decided to go and ask for some help. We made an appointment with a lactation consultant. The main questions we had were whether we should continue using the nipple shield given to us in the hospital, and whether there is something we are doing wrong that keeps our baby unhappy. Well, Jamie (the consultant) was absolutely great! First she showered my wife in a barrage of complements about her breasts and nipples in particular. My two personal favorites were “your breasts rock” and “you have gorgeous nipples.” At one point I was so elated that I had to respond to one of those remarks by saying “I’ve been tell her that for years.” Now, you might think that all those remarks are good to hear but serve no purpose – you’d be wrong. The thing is that if your (first) baby is not having a good time you automatically assume that there is something wrong with you or that you are not doing something correctly. And hearing all those positive things definitely gives you a second wind and a stronger desire to persevere.
Then, Jamie said that she sees absolutely no reason for us to use the nipple shield – there are certain conditions when it is warranted, e.g. flat or inverted nipples, but nipples as gorgeous as my wife’s need no plastic. And so she showed us some tricks about how to hold her to the breast, and how to burp her better (it is surprising how much slapping those tiny babies can endure and even feel comfortable with), and even how to use baby’s hand position and a gage of how full her “tank” is – up means empty, down means full.
So lessons learned – if the baby is not doing great ask for help. Even if you have seen two lactation consultants already and one of them recommended the shield. Thing change, and help is available, and who knows, maybe your breasts rock after all.
1/13/08
So it looks like we are developing a relationship with my daughter. And I say “developing” because like her our relationship is a living matter that changes every day. In the beginning it consisted of me holding her and her crying. Note, it was not that she would cry and then I would hold her. No, it was her crying whenever I held her, even if she was peachy beforehand. It was a rough start, but I followed the suggestions of my support group, consisting of my wife, her parents, pediatricians, and police officers I called to settle the matter. And so I persevered.
To quote some more of Carlos Castaneda quoting Don Juan Matus, who said that there are four natural enemies to becoming the “Man of Knowledge,” and those are Fear, Clarity, Power, and Old Age. I think those are applicable to becoming a parent. It started with fear, and maybe it is smell of my fear that made my baby cry. A few days ago I had a hint of “Clarity” when I was boasting that I managed to put her to sleep. Power has yet to kick in, but we are working on it.
And so back to the relationship we are developing. Since my wife wakes up during the night to wake her I get the early morning (10 to noon) shift, after a hearty feeding, when we think there is no reason for the baby to cry. And so I bring her downstairs, put some music on (I think she prefers Townes Van Zandt to Tom Waits) and we just chill together – I am on the couch and she is on her bouncer.
I have to say that our interactions with her have changed drastically since we have consulted with Jamie, the lactation consultant. Our girl started to eat better and is less fussy, and we really feel like we understand what she is going through a little better. I am so glad we went to see Jamie. Just to think about all the other things we have considered doing, like switching to a bottle, or even formula. No need for that!
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