So why the sudden change of hearts? Why have we (and by “we” I mean the editorial “we” since it is only I who decided) decided to get back to sharing our (mine, really) experiences? The answer is that we need your help, dear readers. We have hit a wall and the only thing that can get us through is a visit from the Super Nanny. Yes, I do know, that they are annoying and speak with an accent that can only match that stick up their …, well, you know where, but the sensation left by the wall on our faces is all but too real.
What might be the problem? Are you serious? You really don’t know? Then take a guess! Oh, no, it is not THAT bad – Maya is still cute and funny, and full of wonderful surprises, and it is not like she decided to marry a seismologist (A special joke for Molly – we heard she reads this in the moments of drunken desperation). But she still does not sleep! Well, it is not entirely true, like the rest of the things I have ever said – she does not sleep well enough. In other words, she is not sleeping up to her potential. But here are the facts: She sleeps great until … 4:30 AM. After that it is “upoo” or “I will scream until you realize that “upoo” is what is best for everyone.” And we tried reasoning with her “Maya, we are in a recession and mommy and daddy need to be productive to help the country,” and we tried threatening her with both the military and the charming schools, and we tried … pretty much everything we knew to try or learned from the internet. But, as many of you who have children already know, it is like dealing with terrorists – the most committed wins, and we are just not committed enough.
And so you can see how I came up with an idea of the Super Nanny. So go out there and talk to anyone you know who might have been to England, likes a pint of Guinness, occasional cup-o-tea, or just heard about Mary Poppins. Ask them if they have an “in” with the Super Nanny, and if she could help us. We would be willing to pay anything (with reason and under 7.99) to stop getting up at 4AM and check the clock every 10 minutes when we will hear that chilling call – “maaaamieeeee.”
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Uh oh--and you posted this really early in the am too, probably hours after you were woken up by the monster! Have you thought about drinking the guinness yourself or putting it in a sippy cup? I hear it has a soporific effect. That was a joke--do only the former, not the latter. Hang in there guys--I'm sorry to hear of the sleeping problems. Toddlers are terrorists!
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